Audience of One

One more day to go of isolation. Kinda wierd. So yes, there have been lots of "lessons" He is teaching me throughout all of this. What I thought were my "needs" often are my "wants". We have tried to teach this lesson to our children, that there is a difference between needs and wants. What I want is to be free to go wherever I want, to serve others, to have all of my family and friends see Jesus and fall in love with Him. What I need, however, is that He alone can fill my wants, and I have to totally depend on Him. Depend on His timing, not mine. Depend on His ordained opportunities, not my man-made grab-the-bull-by-its-horns gusto. Sometimes it is better to receive than give. That's a hard one for me.

I have received many cards, prayers, flowers,meals, goodie baskets and well-wishes from so many. My brother sent me 2 dozen roses! I was blown away. My son told me that he did love me, it's just his job to give me grief every now and then. It was still good to hear.

I read a couple of good books.

The first was "The Call" by Rick Joyner. It's about visions/dreams he has experienced about the Lord's return. But more important, it's about the state of the church and what we need to do to prepare for His return. I was struck by the way he describes worship from Jesus,
"When even the most humble church sings to My Father with true love in their hears He silences all of heaven to listen to them. He knows that one cannot help but to worship when they are beholding His glory here, but when those who are living in such darkness and difficulty sing with true hearts to Him, it touches Him more than all of the myriads of heaven can. Many times, the broken notes from earth caused all of heaven to weep with joy as they beheld My Father being touched. A few holy ones struggling to express their adoration for Him has many times caused Him to weep. Every time I see My brethren touch Him with true worship, it makes the pain and grief I knew on the cross seem like a small price to pay. Nothing brings Me more joy than when you worship My Father. I went to the cross so that you could worship Him through Me. It is in this worship that you, the Father and I are all one."

The other one was a fictional novel about religious persecution in China. It was based on much fact, but fictional characters. I won't give away the whole story, but there is a character who becomes a martyr for Christ. The book describes the reuniting of him to Christ in heaven and entitles Christ as "The Audience of One." This about blew me away. Back in December, I wrote a song with the same title:

Standing at the foot of your throne

I am an audience of one.

No performance

Just you and me, Lord

Oh, to dance and sing in your presence exhilarates me!

Your pureness and passion for us

draws me to my knees,

where I kneel before you,

an audience of one.

Sometimes, God just blows me away!